Bakura and the Quest for THE PERFECT SAKE!
by Avezinzi
Summary: Chapter 4! Bakura and the others journey to the MANS BAR. But whats with Xanos and Ave? Please r/r!
1. The QUEST is issued!

Bakura and the Quest For the Perfect Sake!

Chapter 1- The QUEST is issued!

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! 

"No."

"Yea."

"I will not subject myself to that type of humiliation."

"Oh, don't be such a wuss. DO IT DAMNIT!"

"Bitch. I will not clean up the mess YOU and YAMI made."

Tea growled. 

"Bitch? I'm a bitch? Well then you're a man whore!"

Malik stared. Was she insane?

"Hey, I would remember who has a Millennium Item that, conveniently, happens to be a dagger!"

"You wouldn't AAAAAAGGGGHHHH! YAMI! YUGI! SOMEONE HELP! HE'S CHASING ME, THE PSYCHO!"

Yami looked up from his magazine.

"Tea. You can't fend him off this once? I had to keep him from trying to kill you twice this week already"

"DAMNIT YAMI I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! HELP ME AGAIN!"

Yami went back to reading his paper, much to Malik's amusement.

"Hey. You get yourself out of this one. If your not going to be grateful, then I'm not going to stick out my neck for you. "

"Hey, what's going on?" Yugi called from the kitchen. All he does is leave the room for 5 minutes and some type of ruckus breaks out

"What the hell is the matter with you people? I leave for 5 freaking minutes and you all try and kill each other?"

"Their fault. I did nothing." Yami said, not taking his eyes off his reading.

"YUGI! HELP ME!" Tea screamed, jumping clear over the couch, followed closely by Malik, who was having the time of his life. Chasing girls to kill them was so exhilarating!

"HEY MALIK!" 

"Stop yelling you stupid whore. It hurts my ears."

"Whore? Excuse me?" Tea then remembered why Malik was trying to kill her. "Umm, never mind thatcan you stop chasing me now?"

Malik cracked up laughing.

"Stop *gasp!* chasing you? That's half the fun!"

Tea sweatdropped, almost knocking into a table. 

"What's the other half of the fun? Or do I not want to know"

Malik grinned insanely.

"Hiding the body, of course!"

Yami, Yugi and Tea facefaulted. Suddenly, as Malik was about to draw his dagger, there was a knock at the door.

"Damn. Always at the wrong time" Malik mumbled sadly. Would he ever get to silence that stupid girl?

"Yami, you get it."

"Damn! Why me?"

"Because I cant move! Teas sitting on me!"

"Oh. Alright, alright, I'm going"

Yami walked over to the door and opened it to reveal

"BAKURA! What are you doing here?"

"Well, Malik has some stuff of mine that I let him borrow. So I came to get it back," Bakura said evenly.

"Ohok then, come in. Please excuse our mess," Yami muttered, jerking his head at Malik and Tea.

"Oh, hello Bakura! Been a long time!" Malik grinned from his armchair.

"Hey Malik! Ummhave you seen my penknife? I left it here last time and Yugi hinted that you might have kept it for me"

"Ooh, that was yours? The police confiscated it when I was arrested last Saturday. Sorry."

Bakura sweatdropped.

"Ah. Who did you kill this time?"

"Some annoying little prick who insisted that I give him my Ra card or he'd kill me," Malik snorted, "Of course, I compliedthen shadowed him home and silenced himeh heh heh heh"

Yami, Yugi and Tea sweatdropped and moved a bit further from his armchair.

"HEY! TRISTAN! GIMME THAT BACK!"

Bakura looked at Yugi and raised an eyebrow.

"From what I'm guessing, Tristan stole Joey's Red-Eyes again."

"Does that happen often?"

"Only when Tristan isn't chasing Joey's fangirls" 

"YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! JUST BECAUSE YOUR JEALOSE THAT I HAVE MORE FANS THEN YOU DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO STEAL MY STUFF!"

Joey, chasing Tristan, vaulted over Yami (who didn't flinch), then almost tripped into Tea.

"Watch where you're going!" She yelled, smacking Joey across the face.

"HEY! What the hell was that for?" He said, rubbing the handmark on his cheek.

"Does this mean that I get to kill her?" Malik spoke up hopefully.

"NO!" Everybody chorused.

"Aww you all are so boring," he complained.

"Boring?" Yugi asked skeptically. Malik had some MAJOR issues

"Yes. Bo-ring."

"You're a self-centered bastard that needs mental help" Yugi retorted.

"Go to hell."

"Sure, but I'll be following you."

"Umm, boys? Can't we all just get along?" Tea spoke up.

"No," Yugi muttered.

"DAMNIT WOMAN, I'M A RAVING MANIAC! SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY OUT OF MY DAMN FACE!" Malik yelled.

"Erm, scary?" Joey muttered nervously.

"Heh heh heh"Tristan muttered, staring at

"STOP STARING AT MY ASS YOU PERVERT!" Ka-SWAP! "THAT WILL TEACH YOU!"

"HAA HAA HAA! TRISTAN JUST GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY TEA!" Joey yelled, pointing at the red handmark on Tristan's face.

"Shut up."

"You perverted." Tea sputtered, unable to express her anger in words. So, the next best thing to vent out ones anger would be through violence

"OW! TEA, THAT OW HURTS! STOP HITTING ME!"

"Huh. Now this is entertainment," Joey muttered, watching Tea beat the crap out of Tristan.

"Well, er, since you all seem to be getting along very *cough* well, I'll just be leaving now" 

With those words, Bakura bolted for the door, faster then he ever had run in his entire life.

"Wow they are all crazy," He muttered, closing the door behind him. As he turned to walk down the front steps, the clouds suddenly opened up and a ticked off girl with puppy ears floated down.

"Umm that was random," Bakura stuttered. The girl flicked her short purple hair and glared at him.

"When did I say that you could leave?" She inquired, with a vein popping out of her forehead.

"Um, permission to leave where? And who are you?" Bakura asked. He had been slowly backing away from her the entire time. (could be something to do with the fact that she had been flexing her claws continually since she landed)

"Oh, how rude. I'm Ave, your guardianer, angel, I guess."

"Angel? If you're an angel, then why do you have puppy ears? And a tail?"

"I don't know why I have dog ears and a tail," she shrugged, "It's just how I am. Now tell me- why did you leave?"

"Well, Malik's trying to kill Tea, and Joey slapped Tea's ass and so she slapped him then started to hit him Hey, are you listening?"

"What?" she asked, shaking out of a daze, "Yea, I'm listening. It's just when you said Malik*SIGH*"

"Do you know him?" Bakura asked, interested.

"Well, not personally, but I've been watching him for some time now its those wonderful violet eyes, I know it"

Bakura sweatdropped.

"Well, don't listen to me ramble. I've come to send you on a quest!" she proudly announced.

"Q-quest?" Bakura stammered. What the hell was going on? 

"You my boy are going on a quest to get*drumroll* THE PERFECT SAKE!"

"You want me to get you liquor? But I'm underage!" Bakura was at a loss. He never expected to have a guardianwhatever she was and he definitely didn't expect any form of a celestial body to be drinking wine!

"Yes, I want sake. Since every guardian is expected to have their Chosen perform a quest or task of some sort, you will be gathering a team together to find me THE PERFECT SAKE!"

Bakura stood there, staring at the beaming guardian. I'm a Chosen? What the hell is going on here?He wondered.

"So, since you seem to be at a loss to everything I've just said, will you accept this quest?"

"Uh, sure," Bakura agreed, not at all sure what he just agreed to.

"Excellent!" Ave cheered, "Now, I will be visiting you in about a week. By then, I expect you to have a team of 5 people to help you. After I approve them, you'll be off!" 

"Off," Bakura repeated, dazed, "Yes. Off to find THE PERFECT SAKE."

"Damn straight," Ave said proudly, "Bye now!" 

She spread her pale wings and shot off into the clouds. 

"That was different," Bakura said aloud. 

* Back inside *

"PERVERT! Ka-swap! HENTI! Ka-swap! BASTARD! Ka-swap!"

"Tea? I think you've made your point" Yami spoke up, taking pity on Tristan.

"Nah, let her continue. This entertainment is more valuable then gold," Malik 

grinned, clearly enjoying himself. The girl had been beating the shit out of this guy for the last 30 minutes and, Malik reflected, it had been most amusing to watch.

"Well, I think that is quite pathetic, if this is your idea of entertainment," Tea growled at him, "This creep looked at my ass!"

"Ooh, scary Tea gets ticked if someone looks at her ass," Malik sneered.

"If I got beat up that bad every time I looked at a girls ass" Yami muttered.

"I didn't know you were like that!" Yugi said, looking at Yami with surprise. Yami turned slightly red.

"Yea, wellI am a guy"

"I would hope so," Yugi grinned. Suddenly, Malik jumped up.

"SHIT!" He yelled, and ran out the door. Bakura had just fallen over in the middle of the walkway.

"Bakura you bastard! Get the hell up!" Malik yelled at him. Yugi, Yami and Joey had run outside, leaving Tea and Tristan inside to continue their one sided fight.

"Owwhat happened?" Bakura said groggily, siting up, "I had the weirdest dream some chick named Ave who had purple hair and was infatuated with Malik flew down from the sky and is sending me on a mission to find THE PERFECT SAKE"

Malik raised an eyebrow.

"Infatuated with me. Go figure."

"And then she told me that I have to get together a team of 5 by Friday so we can set off to find THE PERFECT SAKE" Bakura continued, ignoring Malik.

"You have to find the perfect drink? Why? So you can get wasted?" Joey grinned, "Cool!"

"How strange what did this girl look like again Bakura?" Yami asked.

"Well, she said that she was my guardian and I was her Chosen. She had short purple hair, puppy ears and a tail pale wings like an angels, um, she also had a robe on"

"Wow," Yugi gasped, eyes wide, "You were visited by an angel?"

"Heh, well, I don't exactly know what she is!" Bakura smiled.

"Well I think that this whole thing is ridiculous," Malik muttered angrily.

"Ridiculous or not I can't wait till next week!"

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A/n- This was random. Please R/R! *no flames, please*


	2. The group begins to be assembled!

Disclaimer- I DON'T OWN YU-GI-OH! SO BUG OFF DAMNIT!

Chapter 2- The QUEST is underway!

Ave- Welcome to Chapter 2 of Bakura and the Quest for THE PERFECT SAKE!!

Malik- Someone save me.

Ave- (eyes well up with tears) You don't love me anymore

Malik- NO! Don't think like that!

Ave- (sighs) Yea, your just saying thatOh, I'd like to thank Bengemina87 for the GIANT MALIK PLUSHIE! 

Malik- 

Ave- (holds it up next to Malik's face) Aww, and it looks just like you too! Cutie

Malik- (sweatdrop)

Ave- (hugs the plushie) Oh well, enough of meon to the next chapter!

Malik- (mumbles) And may the saints or someone pray for your sanity

^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v^.^ v.v ^.^ v.v^.^ 

Bakura sat on his roof, wondering what was going on. It had been a week since the girl with kittieno, wait, _puppy_ ears had descended from the clouds and told him to go find THE PERFECT SAKE. Well what the fuck was the PERFECT SAKE? 

"I mean, sure, Yami threw some parties where there was sake, and it all tasted good (from what I remember of the party) but what the hell? PERFECT SAKE? Is that even possible?"

"Damn well it is."

"Oh no," Bakura groaned. Ave, who had appeared behind him, frowned.

"Aren't you happy to see me?"

"No."

Ave facefaulted, then stood up, eye twitching.

"Well, at least your honest" she muttered, sitting next to him, "So Bakura. Have you picked a team yet?"

"No," came the gruff reply.

"Ah. Well then, it's up to me. But I'm warning you, if I pick someone you don't get along with"

"I'll deal."

She shrugged, glancing at him disapprovingly.

"Fine. I'll just be off then. But just remember, you have to do this."

As she turned to leave, Bakura grabbed the hem of her cloak.

"Why do I have to do this, anyway? It's not like I asked to be Chosen or whatever and I'm not really sure how you roped me into this. And another thing- what happens if I can't find "THE PERFECT SAKE?"

"Well," Ave began, "You have to do this becauseI was never able to. And if you do this, you can be sure that the rewards will be great. Oh," she added, "It also looks great on your resume!"

"Er, resume?"

But Ave had already vanished.

"That girl sure is odd"Bakura muttered.

??????????????///////////////////????????????????///////////////////????????????????//////////////////

Ave flew off , leaving Bakura to his thoughts.

"Poor dearI hope that I didn't scare him too much," she worried, "Oh well, I have to go pick out a team for him. So that is what I shall do."

She immediately plummeted when she was Malik throwing ice chunks at a stray cat.

"Hey! Don't hurt cats! That's mean!" She yelled, skidding to a halt next to him.

"When did you become my mother?" he sneered, "And what the hell is with the wings? And the" he reached up and grabbed her doggie ears, fluffing them, "Dog ears?"

"Well" Ave stuttered, greatly enjoying the fact that Malik was scratching her behind the ears, "You are going to help Bakura get the PERFECT SAKE*a little lower pleaseahhhh*"

"PERFECT SAKE? What the hell?"

"Yes, PERFECT SAKE. You will be traveling with him and 3 others to get it."

"Alright. So when do we leave?"

Ave reluctantly pulled away.

"Umm, well, as soon as I get everyone together, you'll be leaving."

Malik yawned, nodded, then started walking down the street.

"Yea, ok. Just find me," He yelled over his shoulder. When he saw her nod, he turned back to the road.

"What a weird chick." 

??????????????///////////////////????????????????///////////////////????????????????//////////////////

Ave, in a very good mood since Malik had been scratching her behind the ears, flew off to find Yami.

"I do wonder where he is now" she mumbled, "This is a fine time not to be able to locate him. Oh, hey! There he is!"

She flew down and landed next to the picnic table where he was sitting.

"Hello," Yami said, yawning, "How's it going? You know, it's not everyday that some girl with wings, a tail and dog-ears greets me. So are you the Deity that Bakura spoke of?"

Ave looked at him, impressed.

"Yes, I am. And congratulations! You have been chosen to go on a Quest for the PERFECT SAKE!"

"PERFECT SAKE? Well, I need to know something before I say yes."

"Yea?"

"How long will we be gone, where will we stay, who's driving you know, all the things that a sane person would ask before accepting something like this."

"Erthose details are yet to be worked out?"

"Ah. Well then, I'll be driving. Oh, another thing, who else is coming?"

"Well, Bakura (duh), Malik, you, Kaiba and I think maybe someone else that's going to be a surprise to all of you!"

Yami sweatdropped.

"Surprises are usually bad news. Can I have a hint? Or can you tell me, WHO IS IT?????"

Ave grinned mischievously.

"Sore wa himitsu desu!"

"You stole that catch phrase."

"And your point is?"

Yami sighed. 

"Alright, I'll go. But I'm keeping order!"

Ave grinned, patting him on the shoulder.

"Yea, order. Of course. 3 drunken Yami's and 2 drunken humans. Good luck."

And with that she flew off to find Kaiba.

??????????????///////////////////????????????????///////////////////????????????????//////////////////

"I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THIS CORPERATION! THEREFORE, I WILL DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE!"

Kaiba fumed as he sat in his office. The stupid idiots that worked for him couldn't get a damn simple order straight! How annoying. He would have to have them fired first thing tomorrow. After the knocking on his window stopped, he would definitely get back to his computer- KNOCKING ON THE WINDOW?!

"What the hell?" Kaiba yelled, looking at the purple haired, dog-eared girl that seemed to be hovering outside his 52-floor window. As he stood gaping, she angrily gestured at the window latch.

"OPEN IT, DAMNIT!" She was yelling, and Kaiba, not really understanding what the hell was going on, opened it. She flew in, crashing into a plant in the corner.

"Owwwwwwww!!!" 

"Um, are you ok?" Kaiba asked, vaguely concerned.

"No," came the muffled reply from somewhere in the soil, "It would be greatly appreciated if you would give me a hand"

"Oh, yea, of course!"

Kaiba ran over to the corner where the girl had crashed, giving her a hand. She immediately started to fix the plant, cursing every so often when she noticed another dirt stain on her cloak. After she was finished cleaning it up, she went over and sat in the chair behind Kaiba's desk. He was at a loss to this, and what she said next did nothing to improve his already dangerous mood.

"Kaiba, I would like you to help me with something. See, I'm sending Ryu Bakura on a Quest, and being that I'm a celestial body, he has to do it. So anyway, this quest involves finding the PERFECT SAKE, and he and 4 others have to get it. Well, congrats, you are one of the 4 others."

Kaiba started to laugh.

"You want me to go on some stupid Quest? To find a decent drink? Ha, if I didn't know better, I'd say that the forces above (or below) are getting tired of the world and want to drink their problems away. I can recommend some nice places to catch a drink, but I will not go anywhere. In case you didn't notice, I have a company to run. And I will not be sidetracked by some idiotic Quest'. Sorry, but you'll have to find someone else to do your work for you."

Ave twitched.

"Idiotic Quest. Yea. Did you know that you don't really have a choice in the matter? Sorry dear, you have to go. And we leave at 12 on Tuesday. Later, Kaiba-boy."

And with those words, she flew off, the glass magically vanishing and reappearing for her.

"Tch. Like I'm going."

??????????????///////////////////????????????????///////////////////????????????????//////////////////

Ave- Well, that was uneventful.

Malik- (snoring)

Ave- (sweatdrops) Hey(poke poke) Wake up!

Malik- (yawns) That was not eventful.

Ave- Yea, I know. I said that already.

Malik- Oh, that's nice.

Ave- OH NO!

Malik- (jumps up about 4 feet in the air, hitting himself on the ceiling on the process J ) WHAT? Are you ok? (smacks into the ceiling) @.@ Oww

Ave- I forgot to introduce the 5th pawnI mean, person that's going on this Quest!

Malik- (facefault) Oh dear Ra

Ave- (thinks) Hmmoh well, I suppose that I'll make a contest out of this. See if you can guess who the 5th traveler is! If you do, you win a prize that I haven't thought up yet!

Malik- Then you better start thinking!

Ave- Oh, if 2 or more people guess the same person, then they both win something cool!

Malik- (rolls his eyes) You're pathetic.

Ave- (glomps him) I know!

~ Please review! (no flames please or I'll send Malik after you ^.^)


	3. Oh No What Have I Gotten Myself Into

Chapter 3- Oh no, what have I gotten myself into

No, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, then this would be on TV. Mwa-ha-ha. And I also do not own any of the movies mentioned. And, do me a favor. If you rent the movies mentioned to see what I'm talking aboutkeep in mind that they are rated R. And I do not want anyone that can't handle thethemes *snickers* in the movies to watch them. THIS WAS MY WARNING. So I don't want any problems from anyone, thank you!

THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! 

And now, a few words from the peanut gallery

Malik- (-.-) Peanut gallery? I am NOT amused.

Ryu- (is snickering in the corner)

Ave- (looks down) Sorry, I felt that had to be put there so people wouldn't take us seriously.

Yami- I don't think they would take us seriously even if we tried to be serious. Well, they might take me and Kaiba seriouslymaybe Malik and Bakura too, if they threatened to killbut the rest of you(shakes head sadly)

Ave- (grins, a vein popping in forehead) ANYWAY You guessed what character I would let also come with us on the Quest 

Yami Malik (I think I'm just going to call him Y.Malik because it is so much easier to type) And guess what? YOU WERE ALL WRONG! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ave- (covers ears) Agrh! The pain! Someone make him stop laughing like a maniac!

Kaiba- (evil grin) Suuure Ave, allow me(stuffs some marshmallow fluff in Y.Maliks mouth, then ties him up with duct tape and leaves him in the closet)

Ave- 0.o

Kaiba- ^.^

Malik, Bakura, Ryu, Yugi, Yami, Joey and Tea- 

Ave- Um, as I was trying to saySorry, no one guessed correctly!

Tea- (hands out tissues)

Yami- It's okAve, being cruel and heartless (dodges a mallet blow that Ave swings at him) decided that the last guest (Ave yells in the background:: PAWNS! THEY ARE PAWNS! *Kaiba uses the Fluff on Ave*) will be (Kaiba gets Yami too, before he gives it away)

Kaiba- ^.^

Malik- Dear Ra. This is going to be one insane story. (Ave nods in agreement in the closet, where she has been duct-taped next to Y.Malik)

Ave flew over Domino city, scowling down at the early morning shoppers.

"Oh, suure, just because all of you ALIVE people can wake up at these STUPID early hours in the morning to SHOP and have FUN with your lives while SOME of us are DEAD and not ABLE to have that kind of fun"

There was a pop next to her, and suddenly another winged being appeared.

"Dear, you have GOT to stop bitching about your job," He remarked calmly, floating faster to keep up with her sudden increase in speed at his arrival.

"Go AWAY Xanos, I DO NOT feel like dealing with your shit today."

"Oh, that hurt. Come now, you know that you love me" At her glare, he sighed. "Come on, you need to chill out. How hard could this current assignment be?"

"Very," she replied shortly. "Now if you please, go do whatever jerks like you do in their time off and stop bothering me."

He smiled evilly. She was always so irritable! And easy to annoy. 

"Well, jerks like me like to annoy you. And jerks like me have a new assignment that we have to follow."

At these words, she skidded to a halt and stared at him in horror.

"Youno. No way. Not happening."

He smiled at her frustration and obvious distress.

"Sorry babe. I get to work with you on this one."

Her howl of angst was heard all the way in Alaska.

Bakura woke up to a pounding headache. Wondering why he felt like crap, he searched his memories of the past week and remembered that today was the day that he was going to leave on that Quest thing. Wonderful, just wonderful. Not that he had anything else planned for the summer vacation, but he wasn't too thrilled about leaving on such short notice.

"Yea, yeaI always get stuck doing something that I don't want to do," he muttered, putting on a black tank top and a brown vest.

"Well, I guess that it could be worse. I could have to do this on my own, with no one to help me, or get drunk with"

The door to his room was suddenly thrown open, and a very annoyed Yami was standing there.

"FINALLY! You're up! It took long enough I got here at 11! Here's your duffel bag. Ave popped over about an hour ago, said that you should be ready to go at 3 o'clock. Kaiba's coming, I was just informed, and so is Malik. But, she said that there would be 5 peoplewhere's the 5th, I wonder?"

Bakura sighed.

"I'm sure that she has that covered. She seems to be very in control of out lives"

"Cheer up Bakura. It could be worse. Much worse. She might have made you look for make-up."

"And that would be worse how-?"

Yami smiled grimly.

"Tea made me watch a movie oncesaid that I should watch good cult films. The movie was called The Rocky Horror Picture Showif Ave made you get an outfit like theirs and told you to walk around in itJust trust me. It would be worse."

Bakura looked at Yami strangely.

"I saw that movie. And if you ever put the mental image of myself dressed like that in my head again, I'll kill you."

Yami put his hands up defensively.

"Sorry. Just reverse that image to one ofI don't know, think of someone that you saw at a porn site wearing that. Not yourself." He made a face. "Oh Ra. I imagined myself in that outfit"

Their imaginations were interrupted by a sudden knock at the door. Both lunged at the hallway and toppled down the stairs. Finally Bakura picked himself off the floor and opened the door to see

"Hello Bakura."

"Isis?"

She smiled at him.

"Nice to see you too, dear. So I'm told that you are all going on some type of heavenly Quest. And I was also informed by this flying girl that had puppy ears that I was going to accompany you. So, who's going?"

Yami looked at her in disbelief.

"YOU are the 5th person? But, I thought that only guys were going!"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Someone needs to keep you in line. And besides, I'm assuming that none of you know how to wash clothes without a washing machine, or cook, or clean"

Bakura blinked.

"So, I will be coming along to help you Bakura and to make sure you all don't die of your own stink. You never told me who else was coming, either" She looked at Yami.

"Well, uhh, Malik and Kaiba are comin, with me and Bakura."

She nodded.

"Just as I said, none of you would do anything yourselves. Malik can cook pretty well, but that's about all he's good for. Kaiba most likely never touched a stove in his life, and that goes for both of you too" she eyed the TV dinners in Bakura's garbage.

"Well, where is your stuff?" Bakura asked.

Isis indicated the 2 bags at her feet.

"Ah. Well then," He said, looking at the clock, "It's about 3. Is Ave picking all of us up, or something?"

"I don't know," Isis worried, "She didn't say"

"Shut up you CREEP!"

"Only after you, big mouth."

"I'll KILL YOU! Then I'll rip out your bleeding heart and give it to Malik for his Yami's collection!"

"Will you both shut up?"

Isis, Bakura and Yami looked to the road in shock as a beautiful new shiny Jaguar pulled into the driveway. In the front seat was Ave and another guy that they didn't recognize, and in the back was Kaiba with his shades on and Malik who was playing with a new dagger.

"Wow"

"Brand new"

"10 disc CD player"

'DVD player, wide screen TV"

"Oh, would the 3 of you put your stuff in the trunk so we can go?" Ave yelled, hitting the guy next to her as he made a comment on her driving skills.

"Excuse me for asking, but how are we all going to fit in this thing?" Yami asked, throwing his stuff in the trunk.

"Magic. DUH," came the reply from the sharp-haired guy in the front seat. "Oh, by the way, I'm Xanos, Ave's partner on this fun little adventure. Nice to meet you all."

"Ignore him," Ave said tiredly, "He's a self-centered bastard that will do anything to annoy me. And he loves the fact that he can annoy anyone anytime. Ignore him, and you'll be fine."

He poked her.

"You said 'Ignore him' twice. Just thought I'd point that out" 

Ave smacked him again.

He smiled.

And thus, the trip began, with Ave, Isis and Xanos in the front seat, and Yami, Malik, Bakura and Kaiba in the back seat.

So? Did you all like it? I'm sorry that the 5th character (PAWN!) is not who you all expected. And don't think that the other characters won't be appearing in other parts of this story. They willthey will don't worry about that! Please review! No flames, for the love of Ra.


	4. Journey to MANS BAR!

Chapter 4- Journey to MANS BAR!

Disclaimer:: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, yadda yadda. And I also don't own the MANS BAR or any of the characters that come with it. Those belong to FOX-SPIRIT AKA Y.V. who graciously lent them to me for this chapter. Or, not really lent them to me, they have feelings and Killer doesn't like the idea of being owned. 

Ave:: @.% Some silly-willy spiked my punchbut punch gooood(falls onto Malik, unconscious)

Malik:: (shakes head sadly) No more wild parties to celebrate spring break for you. (suddenly hears a clunk from the closet) What the-? (opens the door and an unconscious Sanoske *from Ruroni Kenshin*, Vash *from Trigun* and loads of empty Sake bottles fall out)

Sano:: (opens an eye and looks drunkenly at Malik) Hey you blondie gimme some Sake (falls unconscious again)

Vash:: Yummy Sakedangerous toys are fun.

Malik:: 0.0 What the hell are they still doing here? I thought they went home last night with the othersAve?

Ave:: x.x (flop)

???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?

We left our little band of adventurers on the road from Domino. Now, we find them

"LOST? XANOS WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE LOST?"

He grinned, glad to see that she was so pissed off.

"WELL?"

"Ave, " the black and red haired bishonen said calmly, "We are not lost. I just said that to get a rise out of you."

"Heh heh you really know how to piss people off successfully, Xanos," Malik mumbled up from the back seat.

"Eh," he shrugged, "It's a talent."

Isis smiled at Ave, who had busted a vein on her forehead and was mopping up blood.

"Dear, you really should not get so mad at him. You know that everything he does it just to make you mad, and if you let it go then we can waste any unnecessary bloodshed"

"But he's such an ASSHOLE!"

"Yes, but that is no reason to get mad at him."

"Has anyone ever told you that you make no sense?"

"My brother has."

"Ah. I see why."

Bakura sat in the back, watching the night sky. Going out this far into the countryside, you could see the stars with no light pollution. It was quiet on the road they were taking, and the woods surrounding them were eerily silent.

"Hey, Albino. We got any food?" 

Bakura whirled on Kaiba.

"My names Bakura, you insignificant fool."

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me rich boy."

"You want to fight me?"

"Bring it."

"BOYS," Isis roared, whirling to face the two Chosen, eyes aflame, "NO FIGHTING IN THE BACKSEAT!" 

Both were silent.

"IS THAT CLEAR?"

"Hey sis," Malik groaned from the corner where he was huddled in a ball with a blanket over him, "Keep it down some of us are trying to sleep"

"Oh my, I'm sorry. Do you want a blanket?"

"No, I' m fine"

Xanos poked Ave.

"Hey, I think it's time we pulled over. You drive tomorrow."

"Fine," she replied, then went back to ignoring him. Xanos grinned.

"Here we go"

He pulled over to the side of the road, parking the car out of sight. Bakura looked at Ave questioningly.

"How are we all going to fit in the car? I didn't see a tent"

Ave smiled at him, a hint of a smirk hovering on her face.

"There is nothing I can't do with this car. Trust me."

She snapped her fingers and the back of the car flipped out into a huge trailer. Bakura, Kaiba, Isis and Malik (who was half-asleep) stared in shock. Suddenly there was a clunk and Yami tumbled out of the back seat.

"Owww, that hurt damnit" he grumbled, then noticed everyone staring at the car, "Woah." 

"Sowhat about beds, an sleeping bags?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, dear!" Ave said cheerfully, snapping her fingers again. 

Yami, Malik, Kaiba and Bakura looked into the trailer, and saw 4 queen sized beds lined up, complete with a dresser. Xanos looked at Ave, grinning a bit to see that all her magic had been wiped making the trailer.

"Hey Ave, where's my bed?" He asked, pretending to pout. At her panicked look, he quickly added,

"Maybe I can sleep with you"

*SLAP!*

He rubbed the swollen red mark on his face.

"Maybe not."

Isis grinned at him, patting him on the shoulder and pointing to the trailer where a sleeping bag had just appeared. Xanos looked at Ave, who had collapsed, then went over and picked her up.

"I'll keep her with me, if that's ok with you."

Isis smiled sweetly at him, narrowing her eyes. He noticed this and waved it off.

"Hey, don't worryif she's near another magical being, then her magic is restored quicker."

Isis nodded, and went into the tent next to the trailer where the boys were sleeping. Xanos smiled evilly, watched all the lights turn out then conjured a tent for them to sleep in. As he put Ave down next to him he smiled, brushing her hair away from her face. Then he went to sleep next to her.

~ The next morning

Ave woke to the sound of crickets, next to something warm and soft. She was so comfortable, so she snuggled closer to Xanos XANOS?

"AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"

Bakura, Malik and Kaiba jumped out of bed at Ave's scream. Throwing open the door, they saw Isis hurrying to the tent that was at the edge of the clearing. She threw open the tent flap to reveal a horrified looking Ave, who was clutching a blanket around herself. Xanos sat up and yawned, oblivious to everything. Noticing Ave, he rubbed his eyes, cocked an eyebrow and grinned at her.

"You know Ave, you were great"

Malik, Bakura and Kaiba sniggered hysterically while Isis tried to comfort a very upset Ave.

~ On the road, 30 minutes later

Isis was driving, sitting with Xanos and Malik in the front seat. Xanos was in a very good mood, and he and Malik were snickering over the morning's events while Isis hit them and told them to stop being so heartless. In the backseat, Bakura was trying to comfort Ave, whose horror had been replaced with unspeakable rage. Kaiba and Yami were dueling with a mini duel platform that Kaiba had created especially for road trips.

"That bastard slept with me fuck him that fucking asshole I hope when Boss finds out about this he get sentenced to 1000 years in purgatory"

Bakura sweatdropped.

"Don't think too much into this Ave "

They drove along the winding hills all day, following a map marked with the best places to have Sake. Finally, at about 7 in the evening they arrived at a small bar on the outskirts of Cherrywood City. Isis parked the car on the side of the bar, and they entered, Ave going first and Xanos following last. She walked up to the bar and was greeted with

"AVE! It's been so long! How have you been? We've missed you!"

Ave embraced the biker standing behind the bar.

"I'm ok, considering the fact that I had to sle- I mean, I have to work with an asshole"

Killer (the bartender) looked behind her at the crowd she had brought. A smile slowly spread over his face.

"Well, well. If it isn't Xanos. Such a pleasure to see you again."

Xanos squeezed past Yami and Kaiba, who were still playing Duel Monsters on the portable.

"It's nice to see you too...say, I heard that Uwatari was in the area, is he here by any chance?"

"HEY ROAD KILL! IS UWATARI STILL HANGING AROUND?"

Road Kill looked up from his bottle and his card game that he was playing with Puke, replying,

"YEA, I THINK HE *hic* WENT AROUND BACK TO GET ME A NEW *hic* BOTTLE!"

Killer looked at Xanos.

"You heard him. You can go around back if you want."

Xanos nodded and slipped off. Killer turned to Bakura and Malik.

"Hello boys, what are you doing all the way out here?"

"Ave wants us to go on a 'Quest' or something we're looking for the PERFECT SAKE"

Killer looked at Ave, who shook her head.

"Ah, I seewell, good luck. While you're here though, you can have some Sake on the houseI'll add it to Ave's tab"

She glared at him. He smiled at her.

"I'm just kiddin, hun, don't look so pissed."

"Ave? That you?"

"FRAN! How are you? Are you still seeing"

"Fran is very happy to see Ave! Fran is still seeing Pegasus"

Isis's eyes widened slightly.

"That's great Fran!"

Fran leaned closer to her, whispering,

"Fran no like Uwatari he scares Fran"

Ave smiled sympathetically.

"It's okhe won't hurt you"

Suddenly there was a crash from the back of the bar followed by muffles cursing. Xanos emerged from behind the pile of boxes he had just pushed over onto Uwatari's head.

"I rule. You KNOW it," he smirked. Suddenly a hand shot out from under the boxes and flipped Xanos over. Uwatari jumped out of the boxes and started to beat Xanos.

"OW SHIT THAT HURT! AVE HELP OW ME!"

Ave looked at him.

"Nope. Uwatari, if you would be so kind as to beat the shit out of him for me"

Uwatari grinned.

"Sure! what did he do now?"

"He was a perverted bastard."

"Isn't he always?"

"Trust me. What he did was unforgivable."

Uwatari shrugged, causing Xanos to have a temporary break. Taking this as a tactical advantage, he flipped Uwatari off himselfat Ave. Uwatari landed on her with a crash, then quickly got off her apologizing as he did so. He grabbed a broken chair leg and flung himself at Xanos, who grabbed a table to protect himself. Killer, who was watching all of this, glared at them. Ave noticed this, and snapped her fingers causing them to vanish and all the damage they cause to be reversed.

"Thanks Ave I was goin to add that to yer tab, ya know"

She sweatdropped.

"I figured."

"Heeeeeey Aveeeeee," Malik slurred from next to her, "What did you do wiiiiith Xanossssss and Uwarariiii?"

She grinned.

"Let's just say, they will be falling for a very long time."

~ Meanwhile, somewhere by Niagara Falls

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Xanos waved his arm at Uwatari, and they both vanished a split second before they hit the water, only to reappear on cold wet cement.

"Ow, so much for your brilliant landing"Uwatari mumbled.

"Sorrydamnit. Where are we?" he looked up and saw the sign that said "welcome to Niagara Falls!"

"Shit."

"Why would she dump us so far away?"

Xanos grinned.

"She didn't tell you what I did, did she."

"Nope," Uwatari replied, then looked at his old friend quizzically.

"Heh, she was drained from all the magic she was using, and the only way to recharge her or make her feel better was to be near another magical being. So, I"

Uwatari shook his head.

"You moron. What did you do to that poor girl?"

"I kept her in my tent overnight that's all"

Uwatari looked at him in disbelief, then tried to picture Ave's expression and cracked up laughing.

"I never thought you were so stupid. I knew you were dumb, but that's like suicide!"

"Eh" Xanos smiled, "It was worth it."

~Will Xanos and Uwatari find their way back to THE MANS BAR?

~ Will Ave ever find out that she didn't do anything with Xanos?

~Will Yami and Kaiba EVER stop playing on the portable duel platform?

~Will Malik and Bakura sober up anytime soon?

Please Review! (no flames) 

AND THANK YOU Y.V. FOR LETTING ME USE UWATARI AND EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!!


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